Alex has had a very trying year this past school year with "friend drama". I'm getting the feeling this is going to be a part of this phase of life with 4 daughters beginning to enter the teen years. It is so heart wrenching as a parent to watch her struggle with this trial. I find myself wishing I had a crystal ball and could look into the future and give her words of wisdom from what I saw. Since I have no crystal ball at my disposal, I'm left to draw from those things I have learned to be true in my 41 years of living. I came across a quote years ago that I've found to be so true in my life "the greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of your soul." (David O. McKay)
Attempting to become your own successful, unique individual self is a lot of pressure! Discovering your unique flare can be a lifelong pursuit with many ups & downs. For me, there has always been a strong connection between developing my style and coming to peace with who I am. As I sit and try to sort through the messy times, awkward situations or difficult challenges, I have some very honest, realistic conversations with myself. I think about trials, successes, influential people, the purpose of life, and I try to connect meaning and purpose to what is before me. It's usually a spiritual process for me in that it first connects me back to my individual spirit, which then leads to a connection to my Father in Heaven. I am able to come to terms with my flaws and I try to rejoice in what I do have to offer.
Sorting and reflecting through these things is a very healing time for me and it gives me hope. Finding your style is challenging.....it's supposed to be. The more you are honest with the process, the closer you get to the finished product. I've heard it said there are three levels of being we can achieve:
The first level is where we are focused on other people. We talk about other people, we compare ourselves to other people and our focus is on how we measure up against other people.
The second level we are focused on things, material things. We are focused on what we have, what we don't have, and what we want to get.
The third level is the most productive and highest level of being. This level focuses on ideas, goals and pursuits. In order to reach the highest level or the third level, you have to have a sense of yourself. Otherwise, you won't know what ideas interest you, what goals you need to set or what pursuits are best for you!
So wish me luck and I'll try to hang on because I'm pretty sure this next phase of life is going to be a bumpy ride!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Daughter #1
Alex is 14 now. She was a bit more reserved and much more conscientious about the other people milling around. She was certain they were looking at us and thinking we were weird because well, she thought we were weird. Eventually she gave up and joined us.
Daughter #4
And then there is Grace, who loves to pose. That's ok though, because it gives me plenty of opportunity to practice my photography skills.
Daughter #3
Don't you just love it when you take some pictures that totally capture your child's personality? These pictures were taken when we were just out having some family fun and the girls started cutting loose....priceless!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thoughts on Life...
Last month marked one year since my friends dumped me. Why is it that we are aware of and make note of the passing of time in such ways....ways that are marked by painful events? I don't know the answer to that question, but in reflecting on the past year and the lessons I have learned I have found answers to some different questions.
I've come to realize that each life is a collection of stories--our stories. The meaning of these stories will often be unclear. The cowboy standing on the dusty trail may wonder to himself—did he find a rope or lose a horse? Often we will wonder what the meaning is to our own stories. Each of us has the opportunity to interpret our own. In every lesson and every experience are the seeds of exasperation or inspiration. We get to choose. We can add up our experiences to create a story of injustice and pain...which we will have plenty of data on. Or we can take the very same experiences and organize them to create meaning, to inspire gratitude, and to develop character.
The most poignant parts of our stories are the parts that tell how our hearts were handled. The truth is that while we may fantasize about how things "should" be, we don't live in fantasies. I do believe, however, that we live in fairytales. Witches also live in fairytales, villains must be fought in fairytales and in fairytales, the damsel is in distress.
Our stories are pieces of a bigger story. Each of us has an irreplaceable part to play in this story. Each of us must face and defeat our own villains. And so for the past year, I've been facing and in many cases defeating my own villains in my own story. Many of the villains over the past year came in the form of beliefs.
One of the beliefs I have battled the most is the belief that "I am just not that girl..." and I can fill in the rest of that with a myriad of statements. Here is where I have to give thanks to a very loving Heavenly Father who has helped me battle these villains by arming me with the weapon of truth. He has told us that "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." Then he goes on to tell us "I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life". Many of us live with labels that God did not intend for us. What I have learned this past year is that the truth of who He says you are is stronger than any circumstance or label the world puts on you. One of the biggest obstacles we encounter to this is forgetfulness. When we forget who we are, we forget who God sees us as...and we forget the story we are living in. But when we stay with our questions, or in my case...my question of what kind of girl am I...and stay with that question often, we start to remember. And we begin to see who He sees us as. So in this season of giving gratitude and remembrance of what our stories are all about, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for loving me for exactly who I am. For letting me be the author of my story and for staying with me through tough chapters. I am also very grateful for many dear friends, family members and associates, both old and new, who have shown up at my door, called, ordered a delivery for me, listened, asked and were a part of delivering the message to me that I am exactly that kind of girl and I love it!!
I've come to realize that each life is a collection of stories--our stories. The meaning of these stories will often be unclear. The cowboy standing on the dusty trail may wonder to himself—did he find a rope or lose a horse? Often we will wonder what the meaning is to our own stories. Each of us has the opportunity to interpret our own. In every lesson and every experience are the seeds of exasperation or inspiration. We get to choose. We can add up our experiences to create a story of injustice and pain...which we will have plenty of data on. Or we can take the very same experiences and organize them to create meaning, to inspire gratitude, and to develop character.
The most poignant parts of our stories are the parts that tell how our hearts were handled. The truth is that while we may fantasize about how things "should" be, we don't live in fantasies. I do believe, however, that we live in fairytales. Witches also live in fairytales, villains must be fought in fairytales and in fairytales, the damsel is in distress.
Our stories are pieces of a bigger story. Each of us has an irreplaceable part to play in this story. Each of us must face and defeat our own villains. And so for the past year, I've been facing and in many cases defeating my own villains in my own story. Many of the villains over the past year came in the form of beliefs.
One of the beliefs I have battled the most is the belief that "I am just not that girl..." and I can fill in the rest of that with a myriad of statements. Here is where I have to give thanks to a very loving Heavenly Father who has helped me battle these villains by arming me with the weapon of truth. He has told us that "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." Then he goes on to tell us "I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life". Many of us live with labels that God did not intend for us. What I have learned this past year is that the truth of who He says you are is stronger than any circumstance or label the world puts on you. One of the biggest obstacles we encounter to this is forgetfulness. When we forget who we are, we forget who God sees us as...and we forget the story we are living in. But when we stay with our questions, or in my case...my question of what kind of girl am I...and stay with that question often, we start to remember. And we begin to see who He sees us as. So in this season of giving gratitude and remembrance of what our stories are all about, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for loving me for exactly who I am. For letting me be the author of my story and for staying with me through tough chapters. I am also very grateful for many dear friends, family members and associates, both old and new, who have shown up at my door, called, ordered a delivery for me, listened, asked and were a part of delivering the message to me that I am exactly that kind of girl and I love it!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
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